struggle baby

I had a conversation yesterday that reminded me of how little seems to be known about domestic abuse in relationships.  If you’re in a physically abusive relationship, you know it.  But if you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship, you might not even realize it.  For example, you might just think that what you’re doing is “compromising” to make a relationship work, and that such compromises are necessary in any relationship.  I’m not an expert in this field, but I want to highlight the danger.

Abuse can take many forms.  I’m going to talk about only a few examples that I think are most dangerous because they’re most subtle.  At the end of this post are some more broad-spectrum resources.

POWER AND CONTROL

Power and control are really at the heart of all types of abuse in a relationship, from mind games to isolation to physical violence.

1-Sided Power

The only…

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Insightful. 🙂

UnTangled

Before I begin, a word of thanks.

You see, as a therapist, everything you do is hidden. You go to work every day, and you are bound by a code of silence. The sun can come up, and the sun can go down, and it is essential that no one know the people with whom you shared a singular bond while the Earth spun around. You must not tell anyone what transpired. The therapeutic space must be protected, and so everything you do, think, and feel must also remain tucked away.

And then one day you start a blog.

Your ideas begin to wind their way out of the lonely and safe space between your ears, through your fingertips, and they end up on the glowing screens of people you know, and of people you don’t know. I’ll be honest: that makes me nervous. Suddenly, those concerns about performance and…

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The Top Ten Words of 2011

While stumbling around the interwebs I came across a pretty interesting website

http://www.lifeslittlemysteries.com/2016-top-words-2011.html

And I thought this lil article was kinda interesting being a word lover and all. I figured I’d share the website with you as well as the list the site deemed as the top words of 2011. Fyi, the article has inspired me to create my own list of my personal top ten words of 2011, and maybe even share my personal definitions and/or my immediate immpression of the words meaning before reading the given definition. Note: some of my definitions may not be socially acceptable and could even be viewed as insensitive. So I say, what the FRACK, I’m going for it anyway.

1. Occupy —The preferred verb of protesters occupies the top spot this year. Not only has “occupy” risen to fame because of the Occupy Movement (Occupy Wall Street, Occupy Oakland, etc.), it is also used in the context of the occupation of Iraq and the so-called “Occupied Territories.”

{OCCUPY- aka PIE-EYED. This would be the cartooned pics of a cartoon character who sees the warm fresh baked pie sitting in a window to cool and they suddenly have pie slices drawn in their eyes which divulge their intentions. This can, and does happen to us humans, minus the sketched in pie slice, but don’t doubt that the brain of said victims has shifted into ME WANT PIE mode.The hyper-focused individual is now considered to be OCCUPIED.}

2. Deficit —Fiscal deficits are a growing and possibly intractable problem for many economies in the developed world, and have become a frequent topic of discussion.

3. Fracking —Hydraulic fracturing, a controversial method of extracting fossil fuels from otherwise unreachable places , has turned into a hot-button issue dividing ultra-capitalists and environmentalists.

{My personal definition of the word Fracking is definitely used as a softened form of a pretty common cuss word.}

4. Drone —An ever-increasing number of remotely piloted aircraft are being used for reconnaissance and attack purposes, especially to target wanted terrorists .

{A DRONE is similar to a zombie. DRONE would be a description of the way a drugged out person acts, looks, behaves. Its the stereotypical look of one who’s high and completely zoned the FRACK out. Combining the words Drug-Prone and or Drugged-Out-Zone… zone being the individuals state of mind, not the location of which said DRONE gets the drugs or even does the drugs. However, after second thought I suppose the term works for those descriptions just as well.}

5. Non-veg —A meal served with meat. The term originated in India (where “veg” is the norm), and is now catching on worldwide.

{NON-VEG’ers are the baby Boomer generation. They are, in my opinion, the last generation of people to be typically hard working honest citizens. Every generation after that are suffering the devastating consequences of their hard work. Face it, a neverending supply of Doritos, video games, more free time to focus on cartoons and less on unpleasant chores and such has caused a multitude of epidemics with today’s youth. Baby boomers, your unconditional love and affection is gonna be the downfall of society, haha, of course I’m just kidding on this one.}

6. Kummerspeck —This German word, which literally translates as “grief bacon,” refers to excess weight gained from emotional overeating. This year, it worked its way into the English-speaking world.

{Ok, embarrassingly I can’t detail this one but I will tell you it has something to do with watching to many crime dramas like CSI. Blacklight toting forensic personnel would use the term to identify the suspects body fluid evidence they’ve found which would lead to them Attaching a lovely name to the perp based on the trace evidence left behind. Kinda like “suspect or even pet name+speck = petname+body fluid}

7. Haboob —A name imported from Arabic that has been used to describe the massive sandstorms in the American Southwest this year.

{A HABOOB is a person of Indian descent who owns the gas station at the end of my mothers street, who will not take manufacturer coupons for a product I regularly purchase from their store. Dammit man, cigarettes are expensive, cut a girl a break, lol}

8. 3Q —This texting shorthand for “thank you” may have arisen as a combination of the Mandarin and Japanese word for the number three, which is “san,” and Q; put together, they sound like “thank you.” The slang has been banned from official Chinese dictionaries, but is commonly found elsewhere.

9. Trustafarians —These are well-to-do youths (also sometimes called “trust-funders” or “trust fund babies”) who adopt faux-Bohemian lifestyles. A play on Rastafarians, the term first became popular as a reference to wealthy kids who took part in the London Riots .

10. (The Other) 99 —A reference to the majority of those living in Western democracies who have been left out of the dramatic rise in earnings associated with “the top 1 percent” —itself, another frequently uttered phrase. [5 Facts about the Wealthiest 1 Percent ]

***If anyone can come up with alternative definitions for any of the words I couldn’t, as well as the ones i could, than please feel free to share. I would love to read others combinaword definitions.

FYI: I’ve always called this combinawording…come to find out it actually has a real name, PORTMANTEAU.

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portmanteau

Picture courtesy of this website
http://myliteraryquest.wordpress.com/2011/03/18/fun-friday-the-portmanteau/

http://grammar.about.com/od/pq/g/portmanterm.htm

And of course Urban Dictionarys word for it…. TWORD. Lol, awesome.

http://m.urbandictionary.com/#define?term=tword

Tomorrow Won’t Be the Same As Yesterday

image It was painful to read this article as it parallels my own life so closely. Its a short read bit worth the time.

The news took me by surprise. This wasn’t just my house, this was my home. I lived there my whole life, & it was being taken away from me. My whole life was being taken away, and I had no idea what to do to stop it from happening. What was I going to do about school? I was in my Senior year and already missed two weeks of school. What about my friends? The ones I grew up with since I was four years old. What about my life? The one I’ve grown used too, the one that I couldn’t imagine living differently.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22062/121835-tomorrow-won-t-yesterday

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/the-reality-what-was-actually-lost/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/07/08/digital-detention-2011-has-finally-come-to-an-end/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/06/29/tech-no-crisis/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/06/10/destination-unknown/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/06/09/life-filed-away-into-boxes/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/05/22/theres-no-place-like/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/05/05/topic-117-pick-something-you-dont-like-and-choose-to-accept-it/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/04/29/theres-no-place/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/04/29/refugee/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/03/20/the-sins-of-the-ones-we-love/

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/03/06/if-you-have/

Lessons of Failed Relationships

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Plinky prompt:
Share a lesson you wish you had learned earlier in life.

Every failed relationship you have ever had is your fault.

I’m not saying that you were the reason your ex cheated, absolutely refused to work, or was abusive… but you chose that person to be your partner – potentially unaware of the ‘type’ of person he or she was, and remained in that relationship up to a certain point… that point was when you learned your lesson.

… think about your last relationship, and why it ended…. There was something there that you just would not accept… and because of that, your relationship came to an end. Something else happened, though… you became smarter.

Watch “Dave Matthews Band – Satellite” on YouTube

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You Are Not So Smart

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http://youarenotsosmart.com/

This is a pretty awesome website. Visit and enjoy!

Plinky Prompt

Cropped screenshot of Judy Garland from the tr...

Image via Wikipedia

Plinky Prompt

What movies are worth watching more than once?

The Wizard of Oz

The Color Purple

Purple Rain

Smokey and The Bandit

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/plinky-prompts-the-first-three/

Bravery is Beautiful

The image above is the property of The Star Online

Check out this astounding young ladys blog. Her story is heartbreaking. Her bravery is remarkable and her resolve to inspire change is heroic.

http://sacrilegeofthegoddess.wordpress.com/

She is a warrior in my opinion, fighting to bring awareness to an epidemic of injustices suffered by children across the world. She fights not with her fists, but her body, in beautiful dance. A dance to bring awareness to the problem of childhood sexual assault. My message to her is to stay strong. You have an amazing opportunity to inspire change and bring awareness. Who knows how many young lives will be changed for the better through your stories and sharing your dance. Though I’ve never met her, I feel a strong bond forged by similar stories we’ve endured. She’s a warrior for the young and innocent. I admire her strength and send her much love and respect.

You can also read more about her mission and her story from The Star Online.

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2011/12/29/nation/10167925&sec=nation

Facebook Status Updates From the Past

Ok, every now and again I post a status update on facebook that im particularly proud of, lol. Yes, this is me tooting my own horn but I dont do it to often so its acceptable. I happen to love the: Dear Blank, Please Blank website and have authored some of my own. Here are some of my favs from the past that I thought were a bit clever. Note: all are pertaining to frustrations i’ve encountered with using my cell phone, lol. Anywho, enjoy.

Hello Moto,

I noticed you decided to go with the “Shorter Charging Cord”. Thas cool… But really, why must you keep me on such a short leash when you already know I’m your b**ch. God, what an EGOMANIAC your turning into.

Sincerely, ♪♪Don’t want no short cord phone♪♪

This one came about from my frustration with my android phones battery life, or lack there of and how often I find myself tethered to a wall so I could use my phone.

 

Dear Cell Phone,

Yes I kiss my mother with this mouth. Key word: Mouth…not beak. I MEANT TO TYPE THAT WORD SO STOP CORRECTING MY FOUL MOUTH YOU AVIARYAPHILE.

Sincerely, I like DUCKS but not as much as you think.

I obvious have a dirty mouth (who me, never, lol) and was frustrated with my cell phone always autocorrecting my bad words for…not so bad words, lol.

 

Dear Cell Phone,

I am not nearly as fond of MILK as you’d like me to be. Ps, need I remind you that you are indeed a black cell phone. So please stop auto correcting me.

Sincerely, Commitee for Context Based Auto Corrections.

This one was because I was trying to post about MLK or Martin Luther King and everytime I wrote MLK it autocorrected to MILK and I’d have to go back and change it. lol, #whitegirlproblems

 

 

Prompts from the Past

Previous Plinky prompts I’ve used:

If you could enact one new law, what would it be?

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/banish-the-strip-club-bachelor-party-for-the-good-of-humanity/

What are your favorite slang words?

https://lilywhitewash.wordpress.com/2011/01/27/mr-t-style-slang-sucka-fool/

Are you stressed out?

My Stress Level = 10, incredibly

 

The first one is the only one worth reading, lol. All three are prompts I answered at the beginning of 2011.

 

Plinky Prompts; The First Three

So, here are three I found that may be interesting to write about and when I do I will add the Number of the prompt to the title and link back to this post.

1) Summarize your 2011 with one sentence for each month this year.

2) What movies are worth watching more than once?

3) If you were a flavor, what would you be?

Plinky Writing Prompts

Plinky is a cool website you should check out. I think I might start adding some of my favorite prompts as posts to inspire me to write more regularly, and for anyone who visits my blog, please feel free to use any of the prompts I add on your own blog, comment on or leave feedback on any prompts I have written on or leave your link in the comments to a prompt you’ve used and written on. All feedback is fun so I hope the prompts inspire you as they are sure to inspire me.

Plinky makes it easy for you to create inspired content. Every day we provide a prompt (i.e. a question or challenge) and you answer. We make it simple to add rich media and share your answers on Facebook, Twitter and blogs.

links for the Plinky website:

http://www.plinky.com/

http://blog.plinky.com/

http://twitter.com/#!/plinky

http://twitter.com/#!/plinkyprompts

http://www.facebook.com/PlinkyDotCom

 

Enjoy!

 

 

 

750 words 1-2-12

Today my inspiration for writing will be taken from the closest book to me. A wrinkle in time. I opened it to a random page, 90, and chose a random sentence to write about…or not. I guess we will see were this goes.

The sentence:

This was far worse than the nothingness had been; while she was nothing there was no need to breathe, but now her lungs were squeezed together so that although she was dying for want of air there was no way for her lungs to expand and contract, to take in the air that she must have to stay alive.

Ok, I’m writing on my cell phone keypad so this might take a while but here we go.

While writing out the sentence from the book it brought to mind times when I was a child playing with a friend named jeffrey. His mother and my mother were best friends so we played together often. Jeff had a swimming pool and we spent many hot south carolina summer days in that pool. It was an above ground circular pool so one of our favorite game was to try to create a whirlpool. Everyone i n the pool would push the water with their bodies around and around traveling around the perimeter of the pool until all of the water was moving so fast that you could lift your legs and float on the current. The passage from the book reminded me specifically of another game we wpuld play. We would try to see who could hold their breathe the longest under water. I remember a time that I wanted to win so badly I stayed under the water so long that my body started taking over and trying to force itself to breathe. It was almost as if my body was convulsing in a way. What the hell was wrong with me. Had I lost so many times that I was that desperite to win a silly game. I remember when I finally came up and took my first breathe it was like it was insufficient. Only after many many very deep breain the of are and quite a bit of time breathing heavily did I feel like the oxygen was getting to the places it needed to be. I don’t recall whether I won that round or not but I damn sure remember how my body took over and tryed to force itself to inhale and exhale while I was under water.

We had a lot of fun in that pool. Makes me wanna buy one for my kiddos. That’s not even a possibility right now as I don’t know how much longer I’ll be aloud to live in my house. Foreclosure is a little slice of hell on earth. In a way, this foreclosure business is very similar to that day in the pool. I’m underwater holding my breath trying to hold on as long as possible just looking to win a little extra time in my home. I can feel myself suffocating, dying a little inside as time presses on and presses in on me, presses down on me and compresses my chest, the thoughts of being homeless knocks the wind out of me.

I bought the book, a wrinkle in time, for my teenage daughter. I remember being in elementary school and one of my teachers read it to our class. It was magical. When I seen it at the store I asked if she had ever read it. She said she hadn’t so I bought it in hopes that she to would love it like I had. Well, she hasn’t read it yet, she’s been reading some vampire series. Not the twilight one, something different. So while she indulges in vampires I decided to read the book again to see if it still held the same magic it once had. I just started reading it today and I gotta say, I’m having a hard time getting into it. Maybe the magic is reserved for young hearts. I don’t know but I guess after I read it I’ll know for sure.

I guess in a way the magic you experience in your youth will forever remain locked in your young heart, something to be relived through the magic and mystery of that bittersweet thing we call nostalgia. I’ve played the “who can stay under the water the longest” game with my kids in my mom and dads pool and it has lost its former appeal. Now the joy is letting my youngest win the game, who had previously been to scared to put her head under water and just discovered this past summer that she could safely and that she liked it. Or trying my best to talk my oldest, who refuses to play childrens games, into playing.

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This is the analysis after my writing. I love the 750 words website. Its so cool.

GoodPulp: Fathers Fuck up Everything

I love the style of writing by this wordpresser. Its very straight forward, easy to read and sounds kinda like my own inner voice…uncensored.
This blog post struck a chord with me and I figured I would share it. Please check out GoodPulp on wordpress. It will be worth your time.