Mothers of childhood sexual abuse victims

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Its seems shocking and a bit odd that I haven’t found any wordpress blogs written by or supporting the Mothers of childhood sexual abuse victims. Their are countless blogs on wordpress written by the victims themselves. Often written by a adult survivor of such abuse. Obviously the ability to blog about such a life altering experience offers a much needed outlet as well as some amount of emotional support and hopefully healing from such a large community. I, as the mother of a child who suffered sexual abuse, long to speak with, connect with and get feedback from woman (and men) who are living through the same hell I am.
If their is anyone out there who is the mother/father/caregiver who is suffering along side their child while fighting to protect them please leave me a comment.
I feel like there is a lack of moral and emotional support for the parent/s of such victims on wordpress.
Or if anyone knows of any wordpress blogs specifically devoted to parental support of victims of childhood sexual abuse please let me know.
I just wanna find others like me who can relate to this kind of trauma.

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8 responses to “Mothers of childhood sexual abuse victims

  1. What this means is that you have a niche!

    • Wow, I never looked at it like that. There is a complete lack of support groups for adults living through this type of situation in my area so I figured I would try reaching out here on wordpress, desperately hoping to find someone, anyone who can relate to me. Thank you so much for your comment. You’ve got me thinkin…wondering really, if there is some way to start a support group here online and/or in my city.
      You may not realize it but your observation has given me, for the first time since my daughters discloser, a renewed sense of hope and possibly even a bit of purpose.
      You are a true blessing.
      I will keep you posted as to whether or not im able to get something started locally, and of course here on wordpress.
      Thank You
      Lily

  2. Hi- Thank you for following my blog. I really appreciate it. I found that my parents were not up for sharing their experiences with anyone as I began to recover from the abuse. I think they just had so many emotions, they wanted to work through them privately. I always longed for them to be more open with me- or anyone about what they were going through. I hope that you find a strong community of parents who can relate to your experiences here on wordpress or in “real life.” I think Ressurrection has a point- there must be many parents seeking the same type of support. Maybe you are the one to create it for them!

  3. Thank you for following my blog. Unfortunately, only mother who I know and call my own is the one who was and still in a way is my most sadistic abuser. Please please be careful reading my blog. Its very difficult to read and I say things like they are or, were…
    It’s a shame that in cases where moms are not abusive per se, most of them just stand by and watch or just close their eyes and choose to not believe their children. That is an abuse itself, and I have heard from friends who had such mother that their silence and unwillingness to help might have been even worse then abuse itself at hands of the others.
    I am very sorry to learn that your daughter was abused by someone who she should have trusted wholeheartedly. I am glad that not all the mothers are like I described above and that you believe support and allow your child to heal in your loving presence.
    VR

  4. Thank you for taking about this issue!

    “I feel like there is a lack of moral and emotional support for the parent/s of such victims on wordpress.” It’s not just on WordPress. There’s a silence around childhood sexual abuse in general. It’s an uncomfortable topic, and no one wants to talk about it any capacity. I also feel there is a lot of hostility toward parents of children who are sexual abuse survivors. There’s this prevailing idea that the parent could have done something to protect their child, that the parent is somehow negligent, that the parent is compliant in the abuse.

    I even had a psychiatrist suggest to me that I should be angry at my mother for not protecting me from my abuser. I found that to be a funny suggestion. I’m a little hurt that she doesn’t want to talk about it now that I’m an adult, but I’m not angry that she wasn’t able to prevent the abuse from happening. You know who can prevent childhood sexual abuse from happening? The abuser.

    So thank you for being a parent who wants to talk about the issues, who wants to speak out, and who wants support from other parents. I truly commend you, and I hope you are able to connect with other parents who are equally courageous.

  5. I found your blog by searching for exactly that! There is little to no support resources for “The Mother” and while I completely understand the need for support services of all kinds for victims and survivors I too need help. My daughter disclosed her abuse this past November and I’m currently living in hell and while I’m fortunate to have a wonderful and supportive networks of friends and family I’m desperate to talk to someone who can relate to what I’m going through. My daughter is now 14 and was molested and raped by her father from the time she was 10 until last Summer pretty much everytime she visited him on weekends. I wish there was more support for “us” and I’m so grateful to have found your blog. I would love to help each other, even if it’s just knowing we’re not alone.

  6. My mother didn’t believe me. My husband and other romantic partners could use support, but my family of origin? They are still close to the assailant, even though I tell them over and over again, as an adult, what he did to me. It’s like they forget, I don’t understand it. I have only been to 1 family activity that he was present at (which is all of them) in the past 6-8 years or so. When my mother asks, why aren’t you coming to Thanksgiving? I say, because Uncle T- will be there, and he molested me, and I don’t want to see him anymore. The one thing I went to, he bullied me and others. I just can’t take it anymore. So on holidays I sit home alone and cry. The abuser is tolerated (even though he’s an ass to pretty much everyone) and I am isolated. I have spoken with other survivors who say the same thing. They reported it to their mother or other female caretaker, weren’t believed, and were told to not talk like that. EVER. I have a feeling that parents getting actively involved in their children’s healing is becoming more socially acceptable and I really hope that you find the support you need. I so wish my mother had been there for me through all of this.

  7. sunny, bright & shining

    My mother was a part of the blame. She still is. A few weeks ago she threatened to cut me from her will if I told….. Sadly age and I believe dementia has caught up with her. She had to choose between the abuser and her daughter. She didn’t choose me. Now she still won’t even look at me with out disgust.
    There are two sides to every story, this is my side, not hers. I was the nine year old, she stood by silently as I was being molested. Was she afraid?
    Yes, you are right, everywhere are victim stories but there are very few mothers speaking of. It’s the brave spirit that speaks up when others are silent? I will be reading your blog if you don’t mind. Thanks for the read. Brenda/sunny, bright and shining.

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