Facebook Status Updates From the Past

Ok, every now and again I post a status update on facebook that im particularly proud of, lol. Yes, this is me tooting my own horn but I dont do it to often so its acceptable. I happen to love the: Dear Blank, Please Blank website and have authored some of my own. Here are some of my favs from the past that I thought were a bit clever. Note: all are pertaining to frustrations i’ve encountered with using my cell phone, lol. Anywho, enjoy.

Hello Moto,

I noticed you decided to go with the “Shorter Charging Cord”. Thas cool… But really, why must you keep me on such a short leash when you already know I’m your b**ch. God, what an EGOMANIAC your turning into.

Sincerely, ♪♪Don’t want no short cord phone♪♪

This one came about from my frustration with my android phones battery life, or lack there of and how often I find myself tethered to a wall so I could use my phone.

 

Dear Cell Phone,

Yes I kiss my mother with this mouth. Key word: Mouth…not beak. I MEANT TO TYPE THAT WORD SO STOP CORRECTING MY FOUL MOUTH YOU AVIARYAPHILE.

Sincerely, I like DUCKS but not as much as you think.

I obvious have a dirty mouth (who me, never, lol) and was frustrated with my cell phone always autocorrecting my bad words for…not so bad words, lol.

 

Dear Cell Phone,

I am not nearly as fond of MILK as you’d like me to be. Ps, need I remind you that you are indeed a black cell phone. So please stop auto correcting me.

Sincerely, Commitee for Context Based Auto Corrections.

This one was because I was trying to post about MLK or Martin Luther King and everytime I wrote MLK it autocorrected to MILK and I’d have to go back and change it. lol, #whitegirlproblems

 

 

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