I hate missing you, mainly because you don’t exist anymore. In reality, what I’m missing is the memory of the person you were. I don’t know if that person ever really existed but I miss the memories of who you pretended so well to be. It feels like missing the love of your life that exists only in a dream. I fear I will forget what you look like. All of the lines on your face and the shape of your fingernails. I fear I will forget the precise place on your chest that the tip of my nose measured up to when you hugged me or when I would bury my face in your chest. I fear I will never again see the shade of blue that made your eyes so beautiful. I fear, if I allow myself the luxury of letting you go so that missing you won’t be so painful, I fear, I fear with all of my heart that I will forget you. The YOU that you where to me for so long. The YOU that was the most wonderful thing in my life. The YOU that died on April 2nd 2010. I hate missing YOU!